Who’s cheating who?

I haven’t been able to write as much as I have wanted to..and there is much I would like to get off my chest but I guess I’ll start with what is bothering me the most.

Apparently it is ok to have girls call you from other states and you can tell them lies that we aren’t together and pretend to me at least that they are your family members…meanwhile I can see the messages they are sending you…to bad I can’t see what you’re telling them, but I get the point, you like talking to them because then I am the bad guy. I’m crazy and all about the drama, you are just here for the kids and so on…so if that is so why are still here? why are you telling me one thing and them another.  I mean if it is really that bad here feel free to leave…but you wont. And due to circumstances I need you to stay to babysit the kids.  so how about we just call a truce..and call it like it is.  A cheating mess.  You are trying not to technically cheat on me, but this is worse.  I’m cheating myself by pretending that you actually want to be with me, and we are cheating te girls out of a stable and happy home….

how do we fix it? I guess it is time to fix it..grow upand just say hey we aren’t working.  But due to daycare issues I need you to stay around so I can’t push your buttons too much then there goes my job…

Please someone send me some help in some way and make sure you make a big neon sign so I will realize that is my help and my way out…