Another Adventure in Job Hunting

So as I am on my way to my 2nd interview for the hospital (please read Adventures in Job Hunting if you wish) I get thirsty, yes some people do get thristy…on my way to buy a bottle of water I decide caffeine wouldn’t be a bad ideas because I have a horrible headache; (not from anything fun though).  After I manage to purchase the soda, while I ms trying not to let my youngest munchkin bite into an unpaid pack of gum that I had no intention of buying either, we leave the store and I throw the soda in my gigantic purse.  We are then waiting at the bus stop for their father to catch up with us so he can take them to day care while I catch the bus.  despite my thirst I dare not open the soda in front of the children because I know that they will inevitably want some and in the process of them trying to drink a sip I can see in my “mommy’s eye” that the soda will spill not just over them and on the ground but all over me and I  am determined to stay clean for this interview.  So I wait; and as I head to the other bus station after a tearful mommy come with me goodbye trip and there goes my purse all over the side-walk.  Now I  am embarrassed that I trip I forget that I am thirsty and spend the 5 minutes I have waiting for the bus trying to be invisible as I look for my bus pass and put my purse back into some kind of order. As I  board the bus I find a seat and since the bus is crowded and slightly warm I remember that I am thirsty.   I find my seat sit back readjust my purse and grab my soda.  As I start to open the soda I am looking out the window thinking I really could use this job and hope the interview goes well.  Thankfully I look down just before I get the top off all the way and realize that the bubbles are rising too fast and its about to spill over.  I hurry up and semi close the top just enough so the bubble will go backdown.  crisis averted..however  10min later I can finally say..AAAAH that hit the spot and I’m still clean.!!!! 

I then managed to get to the interview an hour early got something to eat and I started walking to find the right building as the hospital is under construction, and realized its a good thing I was that early because  I had to walk farther than I thought to get here and luckily the patient shuttle driver saw me looking confused and gave me a ride to the right entrance!!!  I was still 10 min early, and then I had to wait 15 min for the interview to start but at least I was there early!!!!

Permanent house guests

So my dear boyfriends brother has come to stay with us, and by stay i mean to live.  I don’t mind he’s nice and he cleans and the girls have taken to him and him to them, but then why do sometimes feel like a house guests in my own home?  He helps out with the girls when they cry at night or like Alaina did right now..but I feel guilty that he does that, like I should be there first, or I need to put on some pretense to show that I’m not a bad mom because I let them cry for 20 min at bed time…he has only been here a week and maybe as the time goes by and we all sitdown and discuss what is going to happen, then maybe ill feel like he less of a houseguest and more of a permanent fixture and then I can relax and be me.  But then again I guess time will tell.  Or maybe when we find a new apartment, cause right now he is sleeping in the living room, and I feel guilty that the girls are watching tv, or then annoyed that I can’t work out on my Wii or watch my show cause I don’t want tobe rude, but then I feel the need to be compulsive in my thanking him when he cooks or cleans…what to do???  Suck it up and roll with the punches then….

Updates in job hunting..

While this post may not be as entertaining as the last,I do have good news.  I got called in for the second interview of that job!!!!!!  I am hoping that this equals more good news ahead!!!  To make this a little more interesting I will add the story of how I made the appointment for the interview over the phone today..

being that it is Good Friday today, the girls had no daycare.  I had to give up my hours on another whole issue, so I took them today to meet my mother for lunch and to ride the carousel at the museum.  As we are getting off the escalator which scared the girls lol but it was cute, their father calls and says the hospital called and the manager will be in her office until 230 today.  As soon as we meet my mother I call her, and I get her voicemail.  I leave a polite message and cross my fingers.  Meanwhile I get subs from Subway, Anessa rides the carousel and we eat then its my turn to take Alaina on the rise, and when we come back out of sheer hope I check my phone, and of course I missed her call…great Im thinking this can’t be good here I am playing phone tag with a possible interviewer..I call back and luckily she answers and I decide to apologize for missing her call, and say it is because I was at the museum on the carousel with my daughter..and she laughs and says she understands and it’s no big deal….She has a sense of humor…and is funny and polite..oh ihope this is all good news, so we set the date for Wednesday coming at 10am….im excited but afraid to hope too hard!!!!..

wish me luck!!!!!

Adventures in job hunting

I’m on my way to an interview and I left the house feeling good, I looked nice and professional-black pants, blue 3/4 length sleeve shirt and black heels accessorized with a go get’em attitude!  Then I put my purse down tore arrange my things while waiting for the bus and then position the purse on my lap.  As I go to get up for the bus lo and behold I now have sticky stuff on the upper thigh of my pants.  GRRRR I think to myself.  I get on the bus and begin to look for something to wipe off the sticky stuff, oh wait that’s right I took out the bag of diaper wipes doh!!!! I find manage to find a bottle of water and some napkins my pants arent sticky anymore but now I need a lint brush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh boy isn’t this great..

I’m beginning to think negatively so I take a dI p breath and realize that I am wearing a long button down sweater! I can simply button the middle button while waiting and when I sit down fold the sweater over my lap and anything else I can blame on the lint!!!! OK crisis averted and I;m thinking positive again then I realize that I am watching my connecting bus go boy..oh boy..but wait I look at the time and realize that I got on the early bus and have an hour before my interview.  So here I am at the lovely bus stop bench  for a whole 1/2 with nothing to do, I forgot my book wait no negative I say to my self..so instead I search in my purse waiting for a miracle to appear and I realize that I have a pen, some paper and decide what better to kill some time than to blog!  Is it still a blog if I write it on paper first???  Either way I now have 10 minutes before the bus comes!!!! 

wish me luck on my interview!!!!

How Do You Know?

How do you know if its meant to be or if you are just settling or just making excuses? How do you know if you are just projecting your unhappiness with your direction in life and are seeing things from past relationships that are not in this one????

Sometimes I think that making a relationship work is too hard. I  know that relationships are hard work, but how hard is too hard?  See the thing is when we are good we are great and when we fight it’s just bad.  We don’t fight fair, we bring up past mistakes and drama, I know im insecure and compare him to the array of bad ex’s and their mistakes and he doesn’t listen to my feelings or want to compromise at times. 

Then after the fighting threatening to leave and pretend packing comes the in the dark “feeling session”.  This is where we hear the spiel about why we should stay together and why we love each other.  it is also where we try again and to get back on the good ground and start figuring out why we were mad in the first place.  don’t get me wrong a lot of it is petty  nonsense that just builds up, times are stressful right now and when communicating is hard to do things just build up…pressure pressure pressure…..

So where does that put me or us rather? Back to reassuring each other we are in this and getting back on that right track which we were doing so well on.  Some may say I am stupid and he’s no good or that I am no good.  That this is a circle that will just keep happening but I think that with all of the bad stuff that has happened to us over the past 3 1/2 years, our break ups, the death of my father then his father 19 days later than his mother 2 day after his father, then his sister over the summer and us not being able to physically be there for one another just emotionally, is hard.  So while I may contemplate my life and sometimes wonder wat if, I think that right now, he is a great father, a great lover and he is trying to be there for me as much as I let him, so maybe I need to get over this fear and just let him be there for me and with me and stop over analyzing all the time. 

To answer my question how do you know?   I guess once you have exhausted all the options and don’t see a future then you know, but right now im not ready to make a leap without him because although I don’t need him and could do it by myself, I want him here.  So I guess for now, I know that I or rather WE need to keep trying until WE break, I think or hope that WE both may be surprised!